Peer support helps me cope with Christmas

As a mum of four, I’m sure I’m not alone in feeling that the festive period can be really stressful. It’s such a busy and expensive time. There’s all the shopping for presents and food, family functions, social events and remembering things like Christmas jumper days and plays.

There have been years when I’ve been feeling depressed or really anxious at these events because of my bipolar. But I know how important it is that I am there for my two youngest, so I make sure they see me in the crowd. And I love listening to them tell me all about it on the journey home.

If you are reading this and can relate to the feeling of overwhelm, or maybe you feel isolated or numb at this time of year, please know you are not alone. These difficult feelings will pass, even if you can't see or feel it at this moment.

Christmas can trigger my bipolar symptoms

Since I was diagnosed with bipolar in 2005, extra-busy periods like the run up to Christmas can affect my sleep and trigger bipolar symptoms, such as irritability. The lead up to Christmas makes me feel like I am manic and this isn't a good feeling.

Also, my mum passed away in February [2024]. This is the first year we’ll be celebrating without Mum, and I think the season will heighten the sense of loss. Grief is a big trigger for bipolar symptoms to emerge like depression and anxiety.

I realise how lucky I am

That’s not to say I don’t enjoy this time of year. I do. I absolutely love Christmas morning. We put wrapping paper over the living room entrance. My children love karate chopping their way through the door.

My favourite part of Christmas day is the dinner. We all pull the Christmas crackers and tell the terrible jokes. I do realise how lucky I am. I am so thankful for my children and my husband.

I’ve learnt to ask for help

Christmas requires so much organising and it feels too much at times. Thankfully I know myself well enough now and ask for help.

In the early years of parenting my husband worked full time, so a lot of the family organising and preparation for Christmas fell on my shoulders.

This was before I started the journey of being open about how bipolar affects me. Once I did, I asked my husband for help. Thankfully these past few years have been less stressful as I delegate my to-do list and together we create Christmas for our family.

Last year my youngest son, Noah, said, ‘Mummy’s a bit like an octopus’ which is a good way to describe it!

Tracking my mood

One of the ways I stay well over Christmas is by tracking my mood using Bipolar UK’s Mood Tracker app. This actually saved my life one year when I was at very bottom of the Mood Scale.

It was right after Christmas when my mood crashed and I was able to show the graph on the app to my psychiatrist. It helped me to get the medical help I needed.

Connecting with people who understand

I am lucky to have a great family and friends, and the Bipolar UK peer support services are also an important part of my support network.

As I live near one of Bipolar UK’s in-person support groups, I try to make it a priority to go to the meetings in November, December and January as I know I’m more at risk of an episode at this time of year. There are so many friendly faces. After a meeting I always feel less alone coping with the challenges bipolar can bring.

If ever I’m really struggling, I’ll log into the eCommunity. It’s comforting to know that it’s open 24/7 so I can always find someone to chat to who really understands whatever I’m going through.

I’ll lean into the support I need

I used to think that asking for help was a sign of me not being strong enough. I had fears that people would see me as a bad mum. But I now understand there are no medals for managing bipolar alone, that I need support to live well.

I’ve learnt that it’s okay to ask for help, especially at this time of year when symptoms are likely to be triggered.